Teh Orgy Fic
by This Account Is Totally Dead
Summary: Written for Cybra's "fight" fanfiction challenge, herein lies a silly little story... What happens when teenagers infiltrate the KND and turn Two and Four against each-other? Where does One fit into this... and what the HECK is an OTP? (slash, random, si)


Title: Thinking _Outside_ the 4th Wall (teh orgy fic)

Summary: Written for the Cybra's "Fight" fanfiction contest, the rules for which were as follows:

"_Some days you just want to sock even your best friend right in the kisser. Imagine what it must be like to have to live and work with that person 24/7! _

_ Write a story involving an argument between two or more members of the Kids Next Door._ "

Genre: Humor

Characters: Numbuh One, Two and Four.

Author: Parron

Notes: This story sucks. XDDD;;; Don't say I didn't warn you.

Numbuh One was in his room of the tree house, looking over some old mission logs, when he heard the shouting. It was coming from the direction of the living room, and - worried an adult might be attacking - he hurried to their source.

Numbuh Three was standing mutely at the living room doorway, eyes wide and sleeves covering her mouth in shock. "It happened so quickly" She whispered"One minute, everything was so nice and peaceful, and the next "

Numbuh Five was standing in front of the other girl, trying to block her view. "This ain't somethin' someone like you should be watchin'" She said sternly, not taking her own eyes off the battle.

Nervously, Numbuh One crept around his female teammates, possibilities and fears racing through his head. Noticing his movements, Numbuh Three gasped. "No! You can't! Bad things will happen" Numbuh Five pulled at his sleeve to stop him, but Numbuh One continued forward, battle tactics confusing themselves with retreat strategies.

As soon as he was fully in the living room, he wished he had stayed far away.

The couch had been overturned, pillows scattered through the room and feathers lying on the floor. Tables, Chairs, everything was messed up and ruined.

In the middle of it stood Numbuh Two and Numbuh Four, each boy holding their own small pile of papers.

"Well" Numbuh Two was yelling"In AFLOAT, Numbuh One was the most worried about me when I was eaten."

Numbuh Four scoffed"Yea right! He was jus' worried 'cause you were fixin' the plane. It's called 'worry fer your own self.' Besides, in HUGS, Numbuh One wanted to hug me. Not you, me."

"That was sarcasm, obviously" Numbuh Two said. "And what about that time in TAPIOCA? Numbuh One kept complimenting me"

"Yeah, in your dreams he did" Four laughed. "That'd neva happen in real life."

"Oh yeah"

"Yeah" Four said"Unlike me - remember that time in HUGS? Numbuh One held the door open fer me. More then once."

"Yeah, 'cause he's polite" Two scoffed"Hey, what about that time in FUTURE? Numbuh One didn't mind that I was talkin' to Three over the phone during a fight."

"That doesn't count. It's just being nice" Numbuh Four said angrily"And besides, you can't forget that "

"Wait a second!" Numbuh One yelled, getting up his nerve and jumping into the middle of the fray, "What the heck are you two _doing_?"

He was understandably very surprised when Numbuh Four sort of fell over onto him, hugging the taller boy around the waist. "'Ello!" Four said cheerfully, "How are you doing?"

"Hey, no fair!" Numbuh Two cried, stomping a foot in frustration, "Why do you get to hug him?"

Numbuh One stood still from shock and surprise, and Numbuh Four took advantage of this to tighten his grip around his leader. Where were Three and Five? Why weren't they helping?

Numbuh Four turned his head towards Two and stuck out his tongue. "I get'ta hug 'im 'cause me and 'im are meant to be."

"Yeah right!" Numbuh Two snapped, waving the papers in his hands about, "I have more proof then you do." He hesitated, and then marched over to One and Four, awkwardly hugging One's neck with an arm, leaning over Four. Four was pushed into One by this action, One lost his balance, and all three boys tumbled to the floor, yelling in surprise as they fell. Both Two and Four let go of their papers as they fell, and the papers spread about the area. Numbuh One could hear Three's shrill giggling from the doorway.

Due to the way Numbuh One fell backwards he was now at the bottom of this little pile. It was a good way to learn: Numbuh One suddenly realized that his teammates were heavy.

"Get off!" he yelled, sounding a little whiny and smushed.

Numbuh Two hugged One's neck tighter, and Four scrambled off.

"Sorry! Are ya suffocated? D'ya need help?" he asked quickly, kicking Two lightly, "Get offa 'im, ya big loser. You'll kill 'im."

Two let go and stood up, helping a very confused and shaken One up onto his feet. "Gee, sorry," Two said, grinning apologetically.

There were many, many things One wanted to ask them, all concerning their suddenly clingy and out of character behavior. He settled for the most obvious; "Whathow-why- _what are you two doing_?"

"Hugging you," Numbuh Two said, blinking from surprise, "Obviously."

"Yes - but - why?" the boy asked, loud and somewhat incoherent from surprise.

Numbuh Four was happy to explain, reaching down and picking up a few of the fallen papers. "These papers. See? They're talkin' about us! We're an OTP!"

"Nuh-uh! Me and Numbuh One are the OTP here!" Two said quickly, grabbing One's hand.

"What's a-what do these? What are these, and what the heck is an 'OTP?'" Numbuh One sputtered, feeling confused. He pulled his hand out of Two's, grabbing Four's papers in the same motion.

Silence.

Long silence.

The papers were list of mission-by-mission 'proof' of signs of romance between Numbuh One and his male companions.

"Wh-what?"

"Scone gave them to me!" Numbuh Four exclaimed, "She said, 'here you go, proof that you and One are meant to be!' and gave me the papers and ran away. She was cackling evilly."

"Yeah, well-" Two interrupted, shoving his papers into One's hands, "Cybra gave these to me. She said that me and you are an OTP, and that this was our proof!"

"Who are-" Numbuh One sputtered, long past coherency.

"Teenagers!" Numbuh Three supplied cheerfully from her doorway.

"What?"

"Well, yeah, but all they did was give us these papers…" Two said, sounding crestfallen.

"They didn't attack us or nothin'." Four added. Both boys knew where _this_ was going.

"You trusted _teenagers_?"

"They said they were fangirls. Girls are kids." Four said sulkily.

"_Teenagers_?" Numbuh One yelled again. Secretly, he was relieved. This strange behavior was obviously the work of a teenager, bent on destroying the Kids Next Door from the outside, in.

"You trusted a pair of teenagers teenaged girls, no less? I don't believe it! Of all the stupid things to do!" Numbuh One ranted, stepping away from Two and Four just in case they were still under the spell. "This is obviously some sort of evil scheme meant to tear the team apart. Romance, OTP, 'proof' - Ridiculous! I'm ashamed that you fell for such a trick!"

Two and Four looked crestfallen, Two dropping his papers. Numbuh One tried to keep up the angry lecture, but - well, Four's eyes were all big and watery, and Two was kicking the ground in an ashamed sort of way - it was hard to stay angry at them. Teenagers could be blamed for worse.

Numbuh One sighed.

"Well, clean up this mess, and run a scan through the computers for those teenagers you mentioned - I want to know how, exactly, they knew so much about us."

"Right away," Numbuh Five called from the doorway, sounding amused.

Numbuh One glanced at the clock and started. "I'm late! I have to get going!"

"Where?" Four asked.

"Well, I -" Numbuh One said, awkwardly, heading to the door. "I happen to have a date with Lizzie. See you guys."

Two and Four fell over.

And in the far distance, two slash fangirls sat, and watched, and _glared_.

Moral: Numbuh Infinity wins.


End file.
